The neatest thing just happened... As I was walking to the courthouse from our office to file some documents, there was a woman walking toward me. She had on a plain, white t-shirt and plain ol' blue jeans. I remember thinking, 'now this is a simple woman, kinda like me'. Right then she looked at me and said, "pretty smile". Wow.

As I lunched with my boyfriend today, our discussion moved toward last night's tribute to the importance of, not just taking care of your body, but doing so in a way that also enhanced your mind and soul. Growing up, I, like most other girls, wanted to be perfect. Perfect meaning tall, thin, beautiful. Unfortunately, I was none of these. I guess I wasn't ugly, in fact some may say I was rather cute, but I was always on the heavy side. At the age of 22 I was weighing in at a heafty 174 pounds. It was on a warm, August afternoon that I decided, while eating an Arby's Big Montana, that if I didn't want to be heavy, I was the only one who could do anything about it. I set down the sandwich, picked up a pen and paper, and began concocting my plan. (we all know plans are more easily followed when written down in plain english, preferably with step-by-step instructions). It was simple, really. I was going to limit my fat intake to less than 20 grams per day and excercise every night. This exercise, according to my plan, consisted of walking or rollerblading three miles per night, immediately after I returned home from work. In case of inclement weather, my mom's YMCA membership would suffice. So that's what I did. Miraculously, by Christmas my weight was down to 140 pounds and my self-esteem was tipping the scales. This was a life altering experience, a true period of pride and satisfaction for me. "Yeah, that's right! Check this out" was my mantra. Since then, however, I have been in a constant struggle to maintain this image I created. Back then, I'll admit I did it for purely physical reasons, to be more attractive. Now, as a 27-year-old member of society, I am still preoccupied with my weight, but not for the same reasons. Let's face it, I'm no longer 22 and I accept what age does to a woman's body. I realize I must work harder than others and put effort into my body or it will surely take on a life of its own and, according to the basic laws of nature, expand its borders. But my bigger concern now is my inner needs. How it will make me feel. Me being my mind, soul, spirit and heart. These things that I never really understood before and, as I grow older, have become more and more important to me. This is what I must absorb. I guess this brings me to my second Squeeze - I do not need to be a perfect image, but rather, a perfect essence.