My new life... In the spirit of new motherhood, I don't have much time to write. I will say that I'm sitting here with my 11-day-old, beautiful angel of a daughter...finally. Motherhood is something that you cannot possibly be prepared for. I enjoy every minute with Macy, but I have to be honest and admit that it is terribly overwhelming and scary at times. Here is this little person whose only way of communicating with me is her cries. They break my heart. But aside from the first few days at home, she seems to be a content baby, only crying when she is hungry or sitting in dirty diapers. For the past few nights, she has only awaken once every 4-5 hours, which I'm told is quite good. She smiles sometimes. Some people say babies this young aren't really smiling (it's just gas) but I refuse to believe that. I know those smiles are real. She amazes me every day that she's mine. Mike has been the perfect daddy, of course. He stayed home the first 10 days and went back to work this week. I miss him tremendously, having grown quite used to him being here and falling even more in love with him during this whole transition. I've had my breakdowns. These have occurred as the result of the strong emotions I feel for both my daughter and my husband, and also from the basic transition I'm going through. I'm breastfeeding. Again, something you cannot be prepared for. It was, for me, a painful process that I still struggle with from time to time... but it's gettng better.

That's my transition, in a nutshell. But what is probably the most amazing thing is how I've changed. It seems that by simply giving birth to this beautiful little girl, I am able to love on an even deeper level. Everyone in my life that I care for, I care for even more now. The world seems different to me, it is different to me. It's more important that I'm here now. There is simply more purpose to my life. Scary as hell, yet wonderful. Yes, that's possible.