I will cut my spongelessness short today to write a bit about the tumultuousness of my life right now with the hopes of shedding some of the pressing sadness away. As I walked out the front door this morning, I stopped on the step and took a deep breath thinking -
"today is yet another 'first day of the rest of my life' ". As I focused on the smoke that was rising from my neighbor's chimney I also thought - "Tonight, I will sleep alone. There will be no call from Lathen at 2 a.m. telling me he is on his way home. Tomorrow, I will wake up alone." You see, Lathen and I have drifted apart and he, apparently being stronger than I, has forced yet another break up in my life. I'm angry that this had had to happen to me so many times. I start to wonder what's wrong with me. The sadness is overwhelming. But there are brief moments where I can feel the small flame of hope for a better future. One filled with happiness and love. The kind that doesn't go away. This is all I want.