So I still haven't figured out what, exactly, has been bothering me, but I am happy to report that I am feeling much more at peace. The whole reason I started Brainsponge (refer to entry no. 1) was to help myself squeeze out the negative feelings in my life that don't belong to me. As much as I hate to admit it, I still tend to absorb all the wrong energy from people and my recent "to-myself" feelings may be the result. I've been doing some reading on psychic energies and have discovered the term "psychic vampire". This term refers to those who unknowingly zap your energy and leave you feeling exhausted and drained. Well, I have figured out that I am either a victim or suspect of this behavior, but I can't figure out which. In one of my low points last weekend, I wrote this poem. Reading it now, it seems a bit "boo-hoo, feel sorry for me", but that really wasn't my intention. I guess I was feeling robbed of something and completely desperate to lift the shroud of doom that blanketed my soul at the time. What do you think...

ODE TO MY SOUL
part i
I've searched to find my own good worth
Once found, I opened to share
Only to be robbed by the void and the blind
For my good soul - not a care

By God, I'll live my life with meaning!
Just as soon as I know what it is
Until that day when the meaning is clear
Something, always, amiss

So I'll long to ease my discomfort
I'll continue to feel unequipped
For it comes and goes like the seasons
Inside, o inside, i'm ripped

Go on, take what you will from me
Nothing? Something? All?
I've tried, but can't make perfection
I'm exhaused, enlightened, appalled.