I awoke today, desperately wishing that everything would be back to normal, but realizing that it perhaps may never be. Strangly, I fear that some of my most core beliefs have changed overnight. For instance, I used to be opposed to war, but now I'm not. I now understand that sometimes we have to fight for things and maybe some people need to be destroyed in order for good to remain. I hate it that I feel this way. Sadly, too, I now feel a prejudice toward middle-easterners. I'm not proud of this and will work very hard not to let this mind-set stay with me. These feelings stem from CNN video I saw last night showing scenes of Palestinian celebration after learning of the terrorists' successful wrath. In particular, an old lady was jumping, clapping, smiling and cheering at the news. If her reaction is that of a whole population, I can't say I have any human respect for them. Right now, I can honestly say that their souls are less than those of the grasshoppers that have been destroying my tomatoes. What sort of reality are they living in, and how can it differ so from mine? Isn't that the age-old question, though? At that point in my viewing displeasure, I headed out for a much needed walk and, upon returning home, tuned in to the ongoing TV coverage for a short time, getting more depressed by the minute. It was when I viewed the footage of the poor, desperate souls falling from the burning building that I had had enough. For sanity's sake, I drank a large glass of rum and coke, called my mom, took a bubble bath, and began to search for viewing alternatives. Luckily, it was Three's Company night on "Nick at Night", so I escaped to some "unreality" for awhile, watching at least 4 episodes before nodding off. Lathen returned from work about 3 a.m. and we spent a couple hours lying in bed talking. He had a patron at the bar who had left Boston this morning 20 minutes before the first doomed aircraft took off. He was drinking straight scotch. He mentioned what a gorgeous day it was and how, as they flew over NYC, he had mentioned to the man sitting next to him how beautiful the Trade Center towers looked as the sun shone off them. What were once these beautiful buildings glowing in the morning sun, are now merely tje ugly, deadly heaps left in an aftermath of deliberate violence. How's that for bittersweetness? Folks, I could literally write for hours on this subject, but I suppose I should attempt to get some work done. I'll leave you with a simple quote from the lapel pin I'm wearing today... "Keep Believing".