Spent last evening alone with the exception of a phone call from Lathen. We have one more bit of business to attend to before we can officially put closure to "us" and it looks like it will be taken care of this week. We discussed meeting to settle things, but mutually decided that a personal encounter would be way too painful and send us both back to places we'd rather not return. So, things will be taken care of via US Postal Service. As much as I'd like to see him again, there is just as big of a part of me that recoils at the thought, leaving me feeling much like one of those little pillbugs that curl up when you touch them. I need to move on, and am prepared to miss him forever. After we hung up, I cried. But as I did, the sting came not from my gut and heart as before, but now from my chest and throat. This teary breakdown was way less painful and much easier to get through. Also, it inspired me to write and draw a bit and I now have a couple new poems and abstract doodles that I'm kinda proud of. Hey, that's something.