The powers of change... Mike and I met with the midwife, Joanne, yesterday for the first time. She spent an hour talking to us about the do's and don't's of this pregnancy thing. She was the first midwife in Nebraska and has delivered over $1,000 babies. I think she's qualified. She showed us a picture of what the baby looks like right now. It looks like a blob. It's eyes are on the side of its head, like a rabbit, the head and brain is curved over the face looking like a big, deformed nose, and the arms and fingers are just starting to form from nubs. In a couple weeks it will begin to look like a human. It's an amazing thing. Joanne officially set the due date to December 22. That's Beki's birthday, my little sister and it's a long time to wait, especially for an impatient like me.

Although I have all these wonderful things in my life and so much to look forward to, I'm being victimized once again by this annoying depression that has become so familiar to my life. I've felt it all before, usually a few months after a big change, and I have yet to understand how to beat it. I'm waiting patiently to return to my normal self and be happy and excited about my life. Unfortunately, although I appreciate all that is going on, I'm having trouble getting myself to smile. Give me a couple weeks. I'll be fine.