The powers of change... Mike and I met with the midwife, Joanne, yesterday for the first time. She spent an hour talking to us about the do's and don't's of this pregnancy thing. She was the first midwife in Nebraska and has delivered over $1,000 babies. I think she's qualified. She showed us a picture of what the baby looks like right now. It looks like a blob. It's eyes are on the side of its head, like a rabbit, the head and brain is curved over the face looking like a big, deformed nose, and the arms and fingers are just starting to form from nubs. In a couple weeks it will begin to look like a human. It's an amazing thing. Joanne officially set the due date to December 22. That's Beki's birthday, my little sister and it's a long time to wait, especially for an impatient like me.
Although I have all these wonderful things in my life and so much to look forward to, I'm being victimized once again by this annoying depression that has become so familiar to my life. I've felt it all before, usually a few months after a big change, and I have yet to understand how to beat it. I'm waiting patiently to return to my normal self and be happy and excited about my life. Unfortunately, although I appreciate all that is going on, I'm having trouble getting myself to smile. Give me a couple weeks. I'll be fine.
Thursday, May 16
Monday, May 13
Sometimes.... life just makes our decisions for us. It's been awhile since you've heard from me and that's simply because I needed get all my friends up to date before I wrote here. Finally! Everybody knows so here's a quick recap of April, 2002...
April 11, 2002 - car accident, but you knew that
April 18, 2002 - Follow up Dr. appointment for my shoulder. At this point, my period is 5 days late (I'm never late). On a whim, I asked my docter a few questions to which she replied, "oh, it could be a number of things, but I can see you're concerned, let's take a pregnancy test, just for fun!" Sure. So after peeing in a cup and a short wait in the examination room, my doctor returned saying "Well, is it fair to ask if you want to be pregnant". My reply? "oh my god, oh my god!" That's about all I could say. In case you haven't yet caught on, I'm pregnant. So after leaving the doctor's office, I stopped by the grocery store, still numb, and taking care to buy 7-Up instead of Coke, you know that sort of thing. Mike had the heads up that I was late and of my dr. appt. He called later that night to ask how it went. I can't remember exactly what words I managed to get out of my mouth but he was soon on his way over. When he arrived, he was great. We went for a walk and talked about everything. He's going to be a great dad.
April 23, 2002 - Mike and I told mom over lunch. I knew she'd be ok with everything, but she was thrilled! She even hugged me and Mike. (she's not typically a hugger)
April 24, 2002 - No more job. Through with the legal field (I hope). We'll see. Took this time off to pack and begin my 23rd move.
April 27, 2002 - Lukey's wedding.
May 1, 2002 (Wed) - Trip to Clearwater, Florida with Mike. Business for him, pleasure for me. After the fiasco that was our flight down there, we arrived 6 hours behind schedule. Thursday morning we awoke and took a walk along the beach. I though Mike was being a bit quiet and preoccupied. He stopped me and began telling me how much I meant to him. I didn't think too much of it because he's always saying such nice things to me, but I was shocked beyond belief when he produced a beautiful diamond ring and asked me to marry him. I believe that ring shocked me more than the announcement of my fertility. I guess I knew it would happen eventually, but wasn't expecting it this soon. I'm happy that I'm with such a wonderful man. He's been pretty much my best friend for about a year now even though I haven't talked about him much. Maybe I'll write more about that later. Back to Clearwater...I had to ask him for sure if he was proposing. Once confirmed, I said yes, of course. It was a perfect, sunshiney day with the ocean waves crashing behind us. Leave it to him to make things perfect. We left the beach and hopped in the rented Rio and headed to Crabby Bill's for lunch. Our waitress, Bobbi Jo, was the first person we told of our engagement. She felt honored, of course, expecially when Mike promised to name our first after her. We ate grouper sandwiches and fries. Oh it was good. Then we headed to Pier 60, rented a waverunner and headed out into the Gulf of Mexico. I don't need to tell you how much fun that was. Exhausted and hot, we returned to our hotel, showered and headed to the banquet being held by his business associates. Ate more wonderful food. We told one person of our engagement and before we knew it, we were the recipients of a toast to our engagement. I left shortly thereafter and went to the room to call my mom. Mike returned later, after his meeting was over. Friday, I spent the day alone while Mike was in an all-day meeting. That morning, I returned to the beach to reminisce, took a drive, did a bit of shopping and ended up lounging by the pool where Mike and some of his associates joined me at about 3:00. He and I excused ourselves for a while to frolic in the ocean. Later, we dined at Levenson's where we had the best window seat overlooking the gulf. After dinner we went to Sheperd's outdoor tiki hut to watch the sun set and listen to to the mediocre house band and watch the locals dance in their swimsuits. A wonderful end to a wonderful day. Saturday, we slept in and, upon awakening, had just enough time to pack and head to the airport. The returning flights were uneventful and I was happy to be home. You know how it is. Love to travel, but love coming home.
Since my return, I have had some fun telling all my friends my good news and getting settled in here at Mike's house. Sigmund seems to accept Truman (Mike's dog) and Truman loves Sigmund. We're a happy little family. But in all honesty, there is enough change going on in my life that I have been dealing with some serious uppers and downers again. It's hard to believe that I'm in such a secure place considering the fact that I'm pregnant and not working. I vary between feeling like a big loser and like the luckiest girl in the world. I'm growing a human being in my belly, and there's nothing more important than that. I will soon have everything I've ever wanted - a family. It just sucks that I have to feel so loserish at the same time.
Can you believe I've waited this long to blog?
April 11, 2002 - car accident, but you knew that
April 18, 2002 - Follow up Dr. appointment for my shoulder. At this point, my period is 5 days late (I'm never late). On a whim, I asked my docter a few questions to which she replied, "oh, it could be a number of things, but I can see you're concerned, let's take a pregnancy test, just for fun!" Sure. So after peeing in a cup and a short wait in the examination room, my doctor returned saying "Well, is it fair to ask if you want to be pregnant". My reply? "oh my god, oh my god!" That's about all I could say. In case you haven't yet caught on, I'm pregnant. So after leaving the doctor's office, I stopped by the grocery store, still numb, and taking care to buy 7-Up instead of Coke, you know that sort of thing. Mike had the heads up that I was late and of my dr. appt. He called later that night to ask how it went. I can't remember exactly what words I managed to get out of my mouth but he was soon on his way over. When he arrived, he was great. We went for a walk and talked about everything. He's going to be a great dad.
April 23, 2002 - Mike and I told mom over lunch. I knew she'd be ok with everything, but she was thrilled! She even hugged me and Mike. (she's not typically a hugger)
April 24, 2002 - No more job. Through with the legal field (I hope). We'll see. Took this time off to pack and begin my 23rd move.
April 27, 2002 - Lukey's wedding.
May 1, 2002 (Wed) - Trip to Clearwater, Florida with Mike. Business for him, pleasure for me. After the fiasco that was our flight down there, we arrived 6 hours behind schedule. Thursday morning we awoke and took a walk along the beach. I though Mike was being a bit quiet and preoccupied. He stopped me and began telling me how much I meant to him. I didn't think too much of it because he's always saying such nice things to me, but I was shocked beyond belief when he produced a beautiful diamond ring and asked me to marry him. I believe that ring shocked me more than the announcement of my fertility. I guess I knew it would happen eventually, but wasn't expecting it this soon. I'm happy that I'm with such a wonderful man. He's been pretty much my best friend for about a year now even though I haven't talked about him much. Maybe I'll write more about that later. Back to Clearwater...I had to ask him for sure if he was proposing. Once confirmed, I said yes, of course. It was a perfect, sunshiney day with the ocean waves crashing behind us. Leave it to him to make things perfect. We left the beach and hopped in the rented Rio and headed to Crabby Bill's for lunch. Our waitress, Bobbi Jo, was the first person we told of our engagement. She felt honored, of course, expecially when Mike promised to name our first after her. We ate grouper sandwiches and fries. Oh it was good. Then we headed to Pier 60, rented a waverunner and headed out into the Gulf of Mexico. I don't need to tell you how much fun that was. Exhausted and hot, we returned to our hotel, showered and headed to the banquet being held by his business associates. Ate more wonderful food. We told one person of our engagement and before we knew it, we were the recipients of a toast to our engagement. I left shortly thereafter and went to the room to call my mom. Mike returned later, after his meeting was over. Friday, I spent the day alone while Mike was in an all-day meeting. That morning, I returned to the beach to reminisce, took a drive, did a bit of shopping and ended up lounging by the pool where Mike and some of his associates joined me at about 3:00. He and I excused ourselves for a while to frolic in the ocean. Later, we dined at Levenson's where we had the best window seat overlooking the gulf. After dinner we went to Sheperd's outdoor tiki hut to watch the sun set and listen to to the mediocre house band and watch the locals dance in their swimsuits. A wonderful end to a wonderful day. Saturday, we slept in and, upon awakening, had just enough time to pack and head to the airport. The returning flights were uneventful and I was happy to be home. You know how it is. Love to travel, but love coming home.
Since my return, I have had some fun telling all my friends my good news and getting settled in here at Mike's house. Sigmund seems to accept Truman (Mike's dog) and Truman loves Sigmund. We're a happy little family. But in all honesty, there is enough change going on in my life that I have been dealing with some serious uppers and downers again. It's hard to believe that I'm in such a secure place considering the fact that I'm pregnant and not working. I vary between feeling like a big loser and like the luckiest girl in the world. I'm growing a human being in my belly, and there's nothing more important than that. I will soon have everything I've ever wanted - a family. It just sucks that I have to feel so loserish at the same time.
Can you believe I've waited this long to blog?
Tuesday, May 7
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)