How in the world can I sum up the past two months of my life... I'm back to work this week and I did way better than I thought I would dropping Macy of at Susie's (the babysitter) on Monday morning. Mike and I both went. We walked into her bright and cozy kitchen, sat Macy's carseat on the table and Susie immediately took her out and introduced her to her new friends... Mason, Rachel, Tyler and Shelby. Mason was busy eating breakfast, Tyler was doing tummy-time on the floor, but Rachel and Shelby were quite interested in her, offering to read her a book. I felt good leaving her there and was thankful for that. Our search for quality in-home daycare during January was an interesting one, but I'm confident we found a jewel in Susie. Mike has taken on the responsibility of dropping Macy off and picking her up everyday since it is on his way to work, and he has reported all smiles from Macy both during the drop-offs and pick-ups. I'm thrilled with this news.

I also started back to school January 14. Theories I. Being in class, itself, is basically painless. The class is filled with strong personalities and discussions get quite interesting. I feel like I'm competing for the floor most of the time, having so many things I want to say, but getting beaten to the punch by a quicker talker. I have resorted to raising my hand to get my turn. The outside homework, on the otherhand, basically sucks. I have been required to read about 100-150 pages of text, write 10 one-page-reflections on the readings, research and report on 5 additional articles relating to the subject of the week and write a 3-5 page personal reflection on any topic every week. In addition, I have had to interview 15 strangers, on videotape, and will be presenting 20 minutes of my interaction at the final class. Needless to say, this class alone has had me stressed out throughout most of my maternity leave. Thankfully, Grandma Marie has been more than willing to watch Macy while I did my interviews, otherwise, I have gotten a lot done while she sleeps during the day. So two more weeks to go and all will be well...

My brother Luke and his wife had their baby boy on January 24 (Sam). I'm excited to watch he and Macy grow up together...

I've lost most of my pregnancy weight. I'm struggling with the last few pounds and am determined to lose even more. But even so, my body seems to be shaped a little differently nowadays. Everyone says give it time. I guess I'm anxious to be "normal" again. I began to try on my pre-pregnancy clothes (man, I had a lot!) and was discouraged to discover that I can only wear about 2 out of my 15 pairs of jeans. Yikes. I'll give it time and brood later if it doesn't happen. For now, it seems silly to worry about that.

But on the emotional front, I must say I have grown tremendously during the past two months. I came home from the hospital scared to death. I honestly thought to myself that I couldn't possibly have any more children, that just this one was going to take too much out of me. But I soon began to think clearly again. The sleep deprivation everyone talks about wasn't so bad. In fact, after the first two weeks, I didn't feel sleep deprived at all.

But every day is a learning experience. I'm past the initial shock and fear. I can't possibly put down in writing how it feels to be a mom, the incredible feelings of pure, innocent and amazingly real love and amazement that curses through your mind and body when you look into the eyes of your baby and see such beauty and wisdom. Yes, I see wisdom in her eyes. I feel as if she's an old soul, knowing much more than even I do. I look forward to raising her. I look forward to watching her grow and learn, and I can't wait until she can talk to me. But for now, I'm cherishing the feeling of her snuggled up against me, sleeping with her head on my shoulder. I adore her coos and smiles and the way her arms and legs move as if they had a mind of their own. She's learning about control, but cannot yet get those hands to go where she wants them to. Someday she'll figure this out...

So on with life for me. Remember last year when I celebrated my birthday as the beginning of the "second season of my life?" Little did I know how true that was...