all i can do is pray... and you thought i'd forgotten about my faith, didn't you? Well, I haven't. As I was climbing the ol' stairmaster during my lunch workout today and watching the constant breaking news of "operation enduring freedom" I was overwhelmed with the desire to pray. So I looked down at my shoes, closed my eyes and sent out a message to that ultimate energy - I like to call it God - and asked, no begged, that it be with us all during this impending war. I'm a peace-lover, but my epiphany today was the need to fight for the good in all this. I want my daughter, and the other kids I hope to have, to grow up in a peaceful world. I want what's right to prevail. I don't exactly know who's right and who's wrong in this conflict, I can't make myself be the judge. I only know that I want so hard to believe what ol' W says - that we simply want to end terrorism and make this world a better place. We have to support that, don't we?? Yes, I think we do.

Hello, my name is mollie, and i'm an obsessaholic... Anyone know of an Obsessors Anonymous group? I would love to join. It seems as if you put one little worry into my mind, and it immediately opens up all the other little worry doors up there. Right now they've all emerged and are dancing around in my head, driving me crazy!! And if that weren't enough, I'm obsessing about not obsessing. Good grief!

so i woke up cranky on saturday morning... I didn't realize until later that my crankiness was a result of knowing I couldn't eat ony of the girl scout cookies we just got, nor could I have my usual morning Mountain Dew. These thoughts upset me. I have since realized that dieting is, plain and simply, a mind game. I also realized that I felt better after talking to my sister, Beki, on the phone (she's trying to diet, too). It really helped to be able to talk about my frusterations with her and listen to hers, as well. Misery loves company, you know. I am happy to say that I made it through the weekend without eating any carbs (ok, maybe a few grams, but not very many at all - really!). I also worked out over my lunch break yesterday and plan on continuing that routine at least 3 times per week. That felt good, despite that out-of-shape burning sensation I felt in my lungs and throat.

baby's first cold... Macy woke up all sniffly this morning. She's getting a little cold, bless her heart. I tried to help her out by using one of those baby booger-sucking suction bulb thingies. It worked because she thereafter was able to breath a little quieter, but it scared her a little bit. And, silly as this may sound, we may have bonded a little more, too. I find myself thinking about her alot more than usual today. Love has an amazing way of getting stronger every day. I didn't know this until I had my own little family.

jumping on the protein diet bandwagon... After a long discussion today with my boss about her husband's recent success on the low carb/high protein diet, I've decided to give it a whirl. (I had a cup of turkey for lunch - that's all.) I'm still struggling with these last 10 pounds and even though I don't feel like I'm overeating, I still seem to appear pretty flabby and none of my clothes are fitting. I either need to lose some weight, or go on an all-out shopping spree for bigger clothes. I don't feel desperate to lose a lot of weight, I just want to get in a normal range. I do feel better there. Granted, 10 weeks ago I was carrying an 8 pound bundle of joy and an additional 30 pounds of other miscellaneous pregnancy-related fluids. It's got to take awhile for things to fall back into place, right?

Otherwise, the day has been uneventful. I have class tonight and I'm wondering what in the world I'm going to find to eat between here and school that is carb-free. I guess McDonalds is out of the question, unless, that is, I opt for the McSalad Shaker. I'm so hungry...

This may sound silly... but I'm menstruating again and I'm pretty excited about it. I guess it may be because it means I'm getting back to normal. The other good news that goes along with this is the fact that I'm starting up the birth control thing again. After a long discussion with Joanne, I decided to try the newest form of birth control - the NuvoRing. I have taken the Pill on several different occasions in the past, each time I went through huge bouts of anxiety and depression. It was kinda like constant PMS. My first day on the Ring caused about the same reaction, but I seem to be doing better now. It's almost too hard to explain that emotional hormonal crap, so I won't. The happy news is I feel normal today...

More happy news is that I finished my homework last night and with that final keystroke on my laptop at home, I'm officially done with the "work" part of this class, needing only now to show up at class for the next two weeks. I'm so proud of myself. Five years ago, I would have dropped this class before I would've interviewed 15 strangers. But even though it wasn't easy for me, I did it. It definitely has help me grow some more; and it's enlightening watching how I interact with people on the videos. I don't look half as nervous as I felt. I think everyone should videotape themselves at least once in a normal conversation. I've discovered that I lick my lips a lot, but I was pleasantly surprised that I actually don't nod my head and say "uh-huh" as much as I felt like I did. I may have potential.