crazy life... My baby was baptized last weekend in a private family ceremony in my hometown Church, along with my brother's new baby boy, Sam, and his adopted daughter, Haylee. Mike and I were Sam's Godparents. I loved watching Macy's face as the pastor poured water over her head. She did a little cringe thing at first, but she ended up with a big smile on her face. Sometimes I can't believe how beautiful she is.

My next few weeks are going to be busy and I hope to remain updated on my life-documentation, but I will choose not to worry about that for now because Mike and I are flying away to Florida tomorrow morning. It was almost one year ago that he proposed on the beaches of Clearwater and it will be wonderful to return to that spot with him. If I had only known then how much better my life was going to get.

But all that being said, I'm nervous about leaving Macy. She's staying with my mom, so she'll be in great hand, I'm going to miss her! I get more attached to her every day and am having trouble trying to picture what life will be like without her for four whole days. I guess if I have to miss her, it might as well be as I'm lying on the beach with some sort of frozen cocktail...

inspiration... I was inspired at last night's class (as I often am during my classes). We are working on career portfolios and this task is helping me see that, although I have done a few things worthy of admiration, I have not done nearly as much as I expect of myself. One section of these portfolios is dedicated to our 2-year and 5-year goals. Got me thinkin...

My first, personal, goal is to become more adept in the area of leadership. At this moment in time I'm not sure exactly how to go about doing that; truthfully, it sounds scary to this introvert, but absolutly worthy of pursuing anyway. I think a boost in self-confidence is the first step towards this goal. I often feel shy around people I don't know, i.e. at parties, etc., and have, in the past, relied on a certain state of drunkeness for the gumption to "mingle." But, moving towards a more professional life, I'd like to know how to do this in a sober state. I have incidently stumbled upon an article in the May, 2003 edition of Real Simple entitled "The 10 Big Rules of Small Talk" and have found it helpful as a starting place. According to Jennifer Tung, "...you don't have to be brilliant, just nice." Easy! Anyway, if ever in an awkward social situation, here are a few ice-breakers she suggests...

"How do you know the host?"
"Have you been to the movies lately?"
"Where did you get that lovely necklace?"
"What kind of work do you do?"
"What do you think of the band?"

Nothing too mind boggling, but never know when one of these will come in handy...

spiritiality on a stairmaster... I re-learned something about myself today. That being that physical activity is essential to my inner-dialogue. It's important in my inner-reflection, not to mention an ultimate calming and cleansing effect on my body and mind. I used to take long walks over my lunch break back when I was a paralegal. These walks were important times for me and it seems important things come into my mind while I'm either walking or pushing myself on the stairmaster. I remember lots of inner-struggles. Oftentimes during my workouts, I spend a lot of energy trying NOT to cry.

Yesterday I worked out over lunch and again felt the urge to pray. I think I talked to God for at least 15 minutes while I climbed. There were some things I needed to get off my chest, but more importantly, I needed to express thanks for everything I'm lucky enough to have. I'm trying to get the words to explain how different my life is today than it was one year ago. If you remember, it was about this time last year when my world turned completely upside-down. But out of that chaos I've been given many gifts. The most important, though, being my husband and my daughter. Nothing will ever again come close to being as meaningful as these gifts. Every day I fall more in love with both of them. Here, protected and safe in the middle of the United States. While at this very moment, war in Bahgdad. But we have taken over...

I started out opposed to this war, but have since changed my mind. Those people need to be freed from Saadam and his aweful sons. I learned this weekend that in addition to the "torture clinics", Saadam's hideous sons also run "rape camps." So why, now, are we opposing this war? Do we really think we can come to any sort of honest compromise with these types of people? How can anti-war activists continue in their plight when Iraq's very own people are cheering in the streets, thanking our troops and crying, "Thank you, Mr. Bush." Never have I changed my opinions so extremely, but the simple fact is, Saadam and his followers must be stopped. I saw an image of an American soldier handing a baby over to American doctors and wondered if Saadam would have done this? I'm glad we're helping out. It sounds so cheesy and I can't believe I'm putting this down in writing, simply because it sounds so extremely commercial, but I'm proud to be an American these days.

Stepping off my soapbox until next time.