My heart rate has remained steadily at 115 bpm all day. This really doesn't make sense physically but I'm realizing I'm actually quite anxious. About what- who the hell knows. I never know. Frustrated because this fucking feeling has become norm. Sad and ashamed because I'm suspecting I do know the exact, ridiculous, stupid cause and it's just me... ME! I feel like a broken piece of machinery, not one that just stops working until it is recharged, but one that has sprung a loose wire and is moving faster than it is supposed to yet not accomplishing its intended task. I can think of nothing to help right now and that's the scariest part. Not even a manic shipping spree will fix this one. As I sit here at Panera after snarfing down a pecan braid AND a chocolate duet cookie... I stop and close my eyes to meditate on a cure but I get nothing.. So I will have my crying fits and hope it passes fast.
Bridges to Life tonight. Maybe that will help.
Monday, October 1
Sunday, September 9
STOP! Things need to change!
I don't really like some of the thoughts Ive been having these days, nor some of the things I've been doing to fill the voids. Emotionally I've been fairly stable. Spiritually I've been full of good intentions, strong in my faith and hope, yet lacking in my strength of will. Health-wise I am slacking off in both my physical exertion and my eating habits. My list of wants and goals are all still there... And then some. I do not spend enough QUALITY time with my family. Financially... All is pretty much the same although I do feel I am becoming more and more able to resist spending impulsively.
Sadly, mist of my energy has been going mainly toward trying to get my house clean and organized. I just can't seem to be able to focus on anything else until this happens. This has to change because I know that there will probably never be a time that I feel like it is clean enough or completely organized.
So I return to this notion of re-prioritizing my life and taking a look at my wants, needs and goals.
WHO IS IMPORTANT and what do I think is most important to them right now?
Mike - being well physically and financially and getting back on touch with his own needs, even the selfish ones.
Macy - quality time with the people she loves (the role modeling years are changing for her. She is aware of and questioning new things every day.)
Nick - he is hard to read. Physical activity is always number one in his life but I think he has an emotional and creative side that needs to be nurtured.
Stephen - friendships and responsibilities. He seems to thrive on watching over others and being the caretaker in his relationships.
Mom - just a phone call now and then.
Friends that matter (Mindy, Beth, Nicole, Leah, Sharla). I cherish these friendships and need to put some energy into them.
WHAT is important right now?
Strengthening my faith.
Strengthening my marriage.
Being as healthy as possible.
Saving/earning money.
Creativity.
Charity.
With these two lists I hope to be able to reprioritize.
Sadly, mist of my energy has been going mainly toward trying to get my house clean and organized. I just can't seem to be able to focus on anything else until this happens. This has to change because I know that there will probably never be a time that I feel like it is clean enough or completely organized.
So I return to this notion of re-prioritizing my life and taking a look at my wants, needs and goals.
WHO IS IMPORTANT and what do I think is most important to them right now?
Mike - being well physically and financially and getting back on touch with his own needs, even the selfish ones.
Macy - quality time with the people she loves (the role modeling years are changing for her. She is aware of and questioning new things every day.)
Nick - he is hard to read. Physical activity is always number one in his life but I think he has an emotional and creative side that needs to be nurtured.
Stephen - friendships and responsibilities. He seems to thrive on watching over others and being the caretaker in his relationships.
Mom - just a phone call now and then.
Friends that matter (Mindy, Beth, Nicole, Leah, Sharla). I cherish these friendships and need to put some energy into them.
WHAT is important right now?
Strengthening my faith.
Strengthening my marriage.
Being as healthy as possible.
Saving/earning money.
Creativity.
Charity.
With these two lists I hope to be able to reprioritize.
Tuesday, July 17
2012 Summer Roadtrip 2012 - Day 2
We all awoke happy this morning, ready for the next leg of our journey. We dressed, packed and grabbed our free continental breakfast before saying goodbye to the front desk clerk, plugging Green Bay into the GPS and blindly following its directions.
The trip was pleasant enough with the kids alternating between movies, music, "conversation," wrestling and arguing while I kept myself occupied and sane by blasting my favorite tunes through iPod earphones between bouts of laughing with and/or screaming at said children. We stopped twice - once for gas and a peepee break and again when I spotted a bright orange Dodge Charger and a black and white Plymouth Fury perched atop a Classic Car and Cycle Museum as if in police chase scene from Dukes of Hazzard. "Oh, look!!!" I shouted. The General Lee! The kids had no idea of course so I got to give them the long, drawn out story of how when I was little, my brother (Uncle Luke) and I would watch that show every Friday night, as well as recreate the flying car scenes with the Barbie jeeps. They were so confused.
And a couple of hours later we were pulling in to the outskirts of Green Bay. I must admit I was I bit disappointed with the lack of interesting scenery, but we found our hotel easy enough and after checking in headed straight to the pool. The kids were excited when we found good size water slide waiting, and I was equally happy with the comfy lounge chairs... and the fact that we had the place to ourselves. Pool time for them, lounge time for mama.
But not for long... We were soon heading back to our room to dress and head out to eat, explore and find Lambeau Field. We got caught in a surprise thunderstorm as we were looking for a place to eat and got soaked as we ran into the Sideline Sports Bar for dinner. We were lucky enough to get seated close enough to the bar to hear pretty much every swear word in existence through the strong northern accents of the construction workers who were hovering around it. After ordering some mouth watering greasy bar food, the kids started up a game at the shuffleboard table while I stepped up to the bar to order a screwdriver - just one - and sat back down, leaned back and put my feet up on the chair next to me ready to sip my drink and watch the kids at the shuffleboard. Just as I was thinking how great this is... being in a new place, no schedule, nothing to worry about except the here and now... one of the construction dudes sits down next to me, mug of beer in one hand and yep, a screwdriver in the other. Uh-boy. He was nice enough, obviously more drunk than sober, but we still had a nice conversation about his hectic work schedule and how pretty I was. It didn't even seem to phase him when I had to excuse myself to take Stephen to the bathroom. Oh well, every girl likes to be noticed so it was a nice ego boost for me. Ah, yeah... Still got it.
But after he overstayed his welcome and started moving a little too close, I thanked him for the drink, excused myself and took the opportunity to introduce my kids the art of darts. Oh my goodness we had such a good time! Once they got the hang of it and started to hit the dartboard more often than the wall, I ended up losing a couple of games! It seems as if I had lost some of those mad dart skills I used to have back in the college bar hopping days. Or wait... maybe I had just never learned how to play sober...
Storm passed, dart competition completed and bellies full, we headed across the street to Lambeau. A nice stadium, not spectacular, but it would be hard to beat Chicago's Soldier Field. Before posing the kids for a picture, we did a little shopping in the Pro Shop where we were able to both wear and learn the official history of the Cheese Head and admire the Aaron Rodgers fat head... "Mommy likes Aaron." I explain to the children as I look longingly at and run my fingers across the life-sized shoulders on the wall. "Awwwww, Mommmmmm!!" They whine.
So after stopping for serve-yourself frozen yogurt at The Happy Cow and one more trip to the hotel pool, it was nighty-night for us. Minneapolis tomorrow. Mall of America here we come!
The trip was pleasant enough with the kids alternating between movies, music, "conversation," wrestling and arguing while I kept myself occupied and sane by blasting my favorite tunes through iPod earphones between bouts of laughing with and/or screaming at said children. We stopped twice - once for gas and a peepee break and again when I spotted a bright orange Dodge Charger and a black and white Plymouth Fury perched atop a Classic Car and Cycle Museum as if in police chase scene from Dukes of Hazzard. "Oh, look!!!" I shouted. The General Lee! The kids had no idea of course so I got to give them the long, drawn out story of how when I was little, my brother (Uncle Luke) and I would watch that show every Friday night, as well as recreate the flying car scenes with the Barbie jeeps. They were so confused.
And a couple of hours later we were pulling in to the outskirts of Green Bay. I must admit I was I bit disappointed with the lack of interesting scenery, but we found our hotel easy enough and after checking in headed straight to the pool. The kids were excited when we found good size water slide waiting, and I was equally happy with the comfy lounge chairs... and the fact that we had the place to ourselves. Pool time for them, lounge time for mama.
But not for long... We were soon heading back to our room to dress and head out to eat, explore and find Lambeau Field. We got caught in a surprise thunderstorm as we were looking for a place to eat and got soaked as we ran into the Sideline Sports Bar for dinner. We were lucky enough to get seated close enough to the bar to hear pretty much every swear word in existence through the strong northern accents of the construction workers who were hovering around it. After ordering some mouth watering greasy bar food, the kids started up a game at the shuffleboard table while I stepped up to the bar to order a screwdriver - just one - and sat back down, leaned back and put my feet up on the chair next to me ready to sip my drink and watch the kids at the shuffleboard. Just as I was thinking how great this is... being in a new place, no schedule, nothing to worry about except the here and now... one of the construction dudes sits down next to me, mug of beer in one hand and yep, a screwdriver in the other. Uh-boy. He was nice enough, obviously more drunk than sober, but we still had a nice conversation about his hectic work schedule and how pretty I was. It didn't even seem to phase him when I had to excuse myself to take Stephen to the bathroom. Oh well, every girl likes to be noticed so it was a nice ego boost for me. Ah, yeah... Still got it.
But after he overstayed his welcome and started moving a little too close, I thanked him for the drink, excused myself and took the opportunity to introduce my kids the art of darts. Oh my goodness we had such a good time! Once they got the hang of it and started to hit the dartboard more often than the wall, I ended up losing a couple of games! It seems as if I had lost some of those mad dart skills I used to have back in the college bar hopping days. Or wait... maybe I had just never learned how to play sober...
Storm passed, dart competition completed and bellies full, we headed across the street to Lambeau. A nice stadium, not spectacular, but it would be hard to beat Chicago's Soldier Field. Before posing the kids for a picture, we did a little shopping in the Pro Shop where we were able to both wear and learn the official history of the Cheese Head and admire the Aaron Rodgers fat head... "Mommy likes Aaron." I explain to the children as I look longingly at and run my fingers across the life-sized shoulders on the wall. "Awwwww, Mommmmmm!!" They whine.
So after stopping for serve-yourself frozen yogurt at The Happy Cow and one more trip to the hotel pool, it was nighty-night for us. Minneapolis tomorrow. Mall of America here we come!
Monday, July 16
Roadtrip 2012
Two years later and the kids and I have embarked on our second Summer Roadtrip, the first being to provide us with a new and exciting route to Nebraska through Indianapolis, St. Louis and Kansas City in 2010 while Mike was out of state for a week. And while last year the opportunity didn't present itself, this year Mikey is working in Colorado Springs so we have seized another opportunity.
We struck out yesterday morning and after dropping off Dozer and Sam at their respective caretakers, we faced our ride to the north and west and pressed on the gas... Chicago here we come. Two hours into things as I was chatting on cell phone with my friend, Beth... I was (not so) surprised to be targeted by one of our fine Indiana State Police officers standing dutifully by the side of the road, radar gun directed at my speeding mini-van. I bid a hasty adieu to Beth and pressed rather forcefully and quickly on the brake, alas it was not quick enough. I whizzed way too quickly by him as he spoke into his radio causing officer #2 up the road to turn on lights and jump on my rail. Sighing, I pulled over post haste, prepared necessary license, registration and insurance, assured Stephen that no, I would most likely NOT be going to jail, and put on my sweetest oh-please-just-give-me-a-warning smile. But once I was informed I was clocked at 70 in a 50, I prepared myself for an authentic citation; which I got. Needless, I thanked the officer and expressed my appreciation right AFTER he ever so nicely (yet emotionlessly) requested I slow down and have a nice day. Not everyone can suck up so well AFTER being punished, but hey... It's a gift.
The remainder of the trip into Chicago was quite uneventful. Our first task was to find parking near the Willis Tower for our planned trip to the 103rd Floor Skydeck. We found a valet garage and grabbed a quick bite at the McDonald's next door before walking the 4 blocks to our destination. We had an hour wait for an elevator but were able to save some time by skipping the pre-tour movie and were on our way up after about 40 minutes. I hate to say it WASNT worth our time, but much more would have been gained from this particular attraction if I could have spent more time browsing the many views and historical information rather than keeping track of the kids running from window to window to gift shop to window to viewing ledge, to window... And even though I explained the significance, the 103rd Floor SkyDeck didn't really seem to do much for the kids. We did, however, have quite a good time on the elevator ride up; for although it shot us up with great speed, it still took a minute or so during which the (packed in like sardines) tourists were helpless victims of my kids' farting noises and giggles, not to mention Stevie's uninhibited and random comments and encouraging laughter from Macy and Nick.
After a successful descent and (thank God I thought to jot down the address of the parking garage) retrieval of van, we braved Chicago traffic and made our way to our hotel in Arlington Heights. After checking in we changed into our bathing suits and found the pool. It was of the outdoor variety, and albeit quite small, it was halfway surrounded by shade trees quite relaxing. I liked it. But the kids said it was boring and we did not stay for long.
Upon a return to the room and the donning of dry clothes we ventured out for dinner at The Grand Station, also in Arlington Heights. Italian faire (thankfully they did offer chicken fingers, saving us all from the wrath of Nicholas.) Stephen ordered one of his stand-by faves, Mac n Cheese, Macy tried the Chicken Ravioli and I opted for the Salmon Salad and a glass of Pinot Grigio. We all left happy, skipping dessert for a cup of frozen yogurt at the BerryYo down the block.
Before returning to the hotel for the night we went back downtown to see the Bears football stadium, Soldier Field. After taking the kids' picture at the front, we had the best time walking around the entire stadium admiring the ivy, putting our hands in the wall fountain, chasing squirrels, taking an emergency pee in the bushes, goofing off on the hollowed out rock earth, practicing our balance on the rock moon, climbing on the (I don't know what it was called but we called it the) spider web, and laughing at the sweet innocence of Nick's heartfelt, slightly squeaky, off key and louder-than-he-realized singing while listening with his headphones. Our walk around Soldier Field I was my favorite part of the day.
We took an alternate route back to our hotel along the lakeshore at dusk. Driving by the Navy Pier, the beach walkers and the beautiful lights and energy of downtown, we decided that our next trip into ChiTown would be spent exclusively along the shores. And although impressed and excited by our day in the city, Macy wanted to be sure we all knew... "I'm still more of a country girl."
We struck out yesterday morning and after dropping off Dozer and Sam at their respective caretakers, we faced our ride to the north and west and pressed on the gas... Chicago here we come. Two hours into things as I was chatting on cell phone with my friend, Beth... I was (not so) surprised to be targeted by one of our fine Indiana State Police officers standing dutifully by the side of the road, radar gun directed at my speeding mini-van. I bid a hasty adieu to Beth and pressed rather forcefully and quickly on the brake, alas it was not quick enough. I whizzed way too quickly by him as he spoke into his radio causing officer #2 up the road to turn on lights and jump on my rail. Sighing, I pulled over post haste, prepared necessary license, registration and insurance, assured Stephen that no, I would most likely NOT be going to jail, and put on my sweetest oh-please-just-give-me-a-warning smile. But once I was informed I was clocked at 70 in a 50, I prepared myself for an authentic citation; which I got. Needless, I thanked the officer and expressed my appreciation right AFTER he ever so nicely (yet emotionlessly) requested I slow down and have a nice day. Not everyone can suck up so well AFTER being punished, but hey... It's a gift.
The remainder of the trip into Chicago was quite uneventful. Our first task was to find parking near the Willis Tower for our planned trip to the 103rd Floor Skydeck. We found a valet garage and grabbed a quick bite at the McDonald's next door before walking the 4 blocks to our destination. We had an hour wait for an elevator but were able to save some time by skipping the pre-tour movie and were on our way up after about 40 minutes. I hate to say it WASNT worth our time, but much more would have been gained from this particular attraction if I could have spent more time browsing the many views and historical information rather than keeping track of the kids running from window to window to gift shop to window to viewing ledge, to window... And even though I explained the significance, the 103rd Floor SkyDeck didn't really seem to do much for the kids. We did, however, have quite a good time on the elevator ride up; for although it shot us up with great speed, it still took a minute or so during which the (packed in like sardines) tourists were helpless victims of my kids' farting noises and giggles, not to mention Stevie's uninhibited and random comments and encouraging laughter from Macy and Nick.
After a successful descent and (thank God I thought to jot down the address of the parking garage) retrieval of van, we braved Chicago traffic and made our way to our hotel in Arlington Heights. After checking in we changed into our bathing suits and found the pool. It was of the outdoor variety, and albeit quite small, it was halfway surrounded by shade trees quite relaxing. I liked it. But the kids said it was boring and we did not stay for long.
Upon a return to the room and the donning of dry clothes we ventured out for dinner at The Grand Station, also in Arlington Heights. Italian faire (thankfully they did offer chicken fingers, saving us all from the wrath of Nicholas.) Stephen ordered one of his stand-by faves, Mac n Cheese, Macy tried the Chicken Ravioli and I opted for the Salmon Salad and a glass of Pinot Grigio. We all left happy, skipping dessert for a cup of frozen yogurt at the BerryYo down the block.
Before returning to the hotel for the night we went back downtown to see the Bears football stadium, Soldier Field. After taking the kids' picture at the front, we had the best time walking around the entire stadium admiring the ivy, putting our hands in the wall fountain, chasing squirrels, taking an emergency pee in the bushes, goofing off on the hollowed out rock earth, practicing our balance on the rock moon, climbing on the (I don't know what it was called but we called it the) spider web, and laughing at the sweet innocence of Nick's heartfelt, slightly squeaky, off key and louder-than-he-realized singing while listening with his headphones. Our walk around Soldier Field I was my favorite part of the day.
We took an alternate route back to our hotel along the lakeshore at dusk. Driving by the Navy Pier, the beach walkers and the beautiful lights and energy of downtown, we decided that our next trip into ChiTown would be spent exclusively along the shores. And although impressed and excited by our day in the city, Macy wanted to be sure we all knew... "I'm still more of a country girl."
Wednesday, July 4
4th of July 2012
My little family and I had some quality summertime bonding today. After awakening at the very acceptable hour of 8:30, mike began mowing the front yard-the very same yard that yours truly has been strategically watering to save from the heat-induced dormancy death that the back yard has succumbed to. And it looks pretty good, too! Meanwhile I packed up some food to represent lunch and we headed to the Angola parade. The hour long trip was pretty painless with Macy engrossed in a wholesome and moral-filled episode on the iPad courtesy of the "Watch Disney" app and the boys alternating between one of their favorite movies "Everybody's Hero" and attempting to inflict one of many WWE wrestling moves on each other despite the restraints of their seatbelts. I sat happily up front with my right ear tuned into my "Learn for Zumba" playlist and my left to the backseat. Reality, as it often does, gave us a big shout-out as we passed by a jeep with the top down driven by two young, shirtless and smiling guys with two young, bikini-top clad girls, blond hair blowing in the wind, not a care in the world. Their destination most likely party at the lake as they were pulling a bright yellow speed boat with quite the impressive speaker system perched up top. Mike and I both watched the jeep, the smiling boys, the carefree girls and finally the shiny boat pass us by our super cool mini van and speed up the road. I looked at Mike, then behind me at my kids, back to Mike and we both just had to laugh. It was a total Clark Griswold/Christie Brinkley moment.
But unlike the Griswolds, we did have an awesome day with the exception of inadvertently offending a young Mr. Tough Guy by at the parade. Apparently both Macy and I stepped on his wife's blanket as she sat in front of us doing her best to manage two very small children while Tough stood still farther behind smoking his cigarettes, too caught up in maintaining that exhausting bad-ass, squinted eye, pissed off persona to help her out with their kids. She all of a sudden picked up and walked off but were happy at the chance to move our chairs closer to the street and into some shade. We were quite surprised when Mr. Tough appeared at our backs out of nowhere and began an in-your-face confrontation that at first we couldn't understand. Well, apparently it was "ridiculous" that both myself and Macy had stepped on their blanket, the one that was on the ground and we owed them an apology. Well, not being the type to ruin someone's parade, I made sure to stand up, gush an over-apology both to the man and his wife, and in the end I even forced the guy to shake my hand, which completely threw him off guard and seemed to confuse him as well. Ha! I invited them back to their spot and PROMISED not to step on or near their blanket but they quietly declined. So I was able to sit guilt-free and watch the parade in the shade while my kids scored way too much candy and even a few mini beach balls. Who can guess the moral of this story??
Next stop... Silver Beach at St. Joseph Michigan. Awesome town, awesome beach... and bout a zillion people!! We found a cramped little spot close to the water and spent the next two hours frolicking in the gloriously cool, clear waters as a family. I sat out for some (HOT) sun a few times but not for long. We even got in a family game of keep-away before shaking off the sand and heading out. We grabbed a quick dinner at Qdobas and returned home to shower the sand from where the sun don't shine:)
And that is how a successful, fun-filled, firework-free 4th of July has come to a close.
But unlike the Griswolds, we did have an awesome day with the exception of inadvertently offending a young Mr. Tough Guy by at the parade. Apparently both Macy and I stepped on his wife's blanket as she sat in front of us doing her best to manage two very small children while Tough stood still farther behind smoking his cigarettes, too caught up in maintaining that exhausting bad-ass, squinted eye, pissed off persona to help her out with their kids. She all of a sudden picked up and walked off but were happy at the chance to move our chairs closer to the street and into some shade. We were quite surprised when Mr. Tough appeared at our backs out of nowhere and began an in-your-face confrontation that at first we couldn't understand. Well, apparently it was "ridiculous" that both myself and Macy had stepped on their blanket, the one that was on the ground and we owed them an apology. Well, not being the type to ruin someone's parade, I made sure to stand up, gush an over-apology both to the man and his wife, and in the end I even forced the guy to shake my hand, which completely threw him off guard and seemed to confuse him as well. Ha! I invited them back to their spot and PROMISED not to step on or near their blanket but they quietly declined. So I was able to sit guilt-free and watch the parade in the shade while my kids scored way too much candy and even a few mini beach balls. Who can guess the moral of this story??
Next stop... Silver Beach at St. Joseph Michigan. Awesome town, awesome beach... and bout a zillion people!! We found a cramped little spot close to the water and spent the next two hours frolicking in the gloriously cool, clear waters as a family. I sat out for some (HOT) sun a few times but not for long. We even got in a family game of keep-away before shaking off the sand and heading out. We grabbed a quick dinner at Qdobas and returned home to shower the sand from where the sun don't shine:)
And that is how a successful, fun-filled, firework-free 4th of July has come to a close.
Thursday, May 31
SUMMER BREAK 2012
First day of the last summer before my youngest child starts school. Wow. My hope is to make this Summer fun and stress free, to enjoy my kids as best I can. My mantra should be "it's okay if the house is a mess!" I believe that having no plan is the best plan of all. But I do aim not to leave the house today until I have to go teach my class at 4:45. I've had too many days of running around town, I just want to stay home and do stuff around here. The kids want to go to the pool but I told them there will be plenty of time for that (and we went yesterday - Wet Wednesdays have begun!) Today let's just hang out here! I'll let you know how THAT goes:)
Thursday, March 15
Wednesday, March 14
Introspection... Uh oh
Physically not feeling well still. And emotionally I'm below par as well. I can tell because 1) I'm not listening to music or singing, 2) I'm seeking solitude, and 3) I'm writing. I've fallen from the fence far into to introversion side.
What first comes to mind is the fact that people are really disappointing me lately. But being 38 years old I know that I should not expect anything from any one except the basic respect that every living creature deserves... Anything beyond that is a set up for a let down. What's bothering me, I guess is the general lack of intimate friendships that has evolved from the whole social media phenomenon. We seem to be focusing more on soliciting witty and encouraging comments on Facebook than seeking out valuable and meaningful personal relationships with those who mean the most.
Don't get me wrong, I think Facebook and other social media outlets are pretty cool and a great way to market and network, but it's getting out of hand and I'm just as guilty as anyone else.
So what to do? I must take responsibility for my own happiness. If these things bother me, I should minimize or remove them from my life. I guess I need a plan...
What I Want:
*peaceful days
*quality time with husband and kids
*time for creativity and writing
*a beautiful, organized, calming home
*meaningful interaction with others that does not involve self indulgence from either party
How will I do this?
*re-prioritize schedule
What first comes to mind is the fact that people are really disappointing me lately. But being 38 years old I know that I should not expect anything from any one except the basic respect that every living creature deserves... Anything beyond that is a set up for a let down. What's bothering me, I guess is the general lack of intimate friendships that has evolved from the whole social media phenomenon. We seem to be focusing more on soliciting witty and encouraging comments on Facebook than seeking out valuable and meaningful personal relationships with those who mean the most.
Don't get me wrong, I think Facebook and other social media outlets are pretty cool and a great way to market and network, but it's getting out of hand and I'm just as guilty as anyone else.
So what to do? I must take responsibility for my own happiness. If these things bother me, I should minimize or remove them from my life. I guess I need a plan...
What I Want:
*peaceful days
*quality time with husband and kids
*time for creativity and writing
*a beautiful, organized, calming home
*meaningful interaction with others that does not involve self indulgence from either party
How will I do this?
*re-prioritize schedule
Tuesday, March 13
Tiny Deaths
Life's full of them. Each day brings a cause for grief be it the realization that a friendship may be over, saying goodbye to a beautiful day, realizing that amazing connection you made with a complete stranger was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, or mourning the memories of your babies as you awaken to the knowledge that they have grown into children... And even that is only temporary. So we must embrace the temporary moment and in this I have been failing miserably. I lay here in bed tonight, slightly sick and greatly disappointed in myself for missing too many things. I've said yes when I should have said no while saing no when I should have said yes.
Meditate on: priorities, husband, children
Meditate on: priorities, husband, children
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